Losing touch with my “why”
I am sure you will hear many creatives and business owners discussing the challenges that arise from turning a passion into a job. Whilst it is definitely incredibly rewarding and freeing to work for yourself in an area that you absolutely love, it can’t be denied that it’s got some down sides.
The most notable for me is in mindset. I’m not talking about stresses that come from running a business and i’m certainly not doing a “oh poor me” when I am fortunate enough to be in the position that I work for myself with an awesome client base that support me and allow me to continue pursuing my passion for equine photography.
However, as soon as I turned photography into a business from a hobby, my mindset as to what I could photograph and when changed dramatically. I somehow forgot that i could still go out and photograph simply because it makes me happy to do so. I put expectations on myself that suddenly everything I produced either had to meet a certain standard, be headed for the portfolio or have a REASON to come into being. If it wasn’t going to please my inner perfectionist, it wasn’t worth doing.
With this attitude i’ve spent more free time over the last few years sitting behind a computer talking about photographing horses than actually going and doing so. I’ve turned my back on the origins of my photography and my best form of therapy. Sitting in a field, in the company of horses with NO expectation as to what I captured, if anything at all.
The joy of creating is the act itself
The usual mid January blues started to sneak up on me last week so I took action and organised an impromptu photoshoot. No particular plan for the images, no idea if there would even be a worthwhile shot but I was fully in my happy place. It took me right back to my roots and where my passion for equine photography blossomed. Muddy field, hairy ponies and camera in hand.
I shared this story on Instagram and it became apparent I’m not the only one experiencing this disconnect between personal interest and professional necessity. I think it’s so easy to get stuck in our heads, sometimes you simply need to get back to what it is you love doing just for the sake of it. Because the joy of being a creative isn’t really in what you produce, but the creative act itself.
